When I became a member of the social group, I discovered that there were quite a few people that I wished to know better. As a newly bereaved person, however, I did not wish to have any kind of special relationship except for friendship. At first, I was content with playing the odd game of bridge. As time went on, and after I became more involved and comfortable with my new friends, I discovered that I wanted to spend more time with them. First, it was lunch, and then I met some enlightened music lovers who liked my preferred jazz. Life became much more interesting. There were trips here and there and lazy weekends at my daughter’s condo in Whistler.

Having a few new friends was a great help to me after Collette’s death. The fact that we were responsible for our own expenses made our outings possible. I could enjoy the company of others and still maintain my independence.

We have to understand that our lives do change after the death of a loved one, and we all change in our own time in ways that are both private and very personal. Socializing in a Dutch Treat fashion enables us to maintain social relationships exactly as we want them to be. I hate to mention money, but when people pay their own way, that fact eases the strain on those of us who are not quite as affluent as we might wish.

Life becomes very simple if folks understand each other, and this is one way to do just that. I usually take my friends to a jazz group at Herman’s Dixieland Inn, Dutch Treat of course.