An Address by Claire L. Holmes to Hospice volunteers in training.

An Overview

We are fortunate that Victoria Hospice provides volunteers with several opportunities to share our talents. The secret is to participate actively in the programs offered to our community. As a former coordinator with my husband, John, and as a current volunteer in the Victoria Hospice Walking Group Program, I am pleased to share my knowledge about this program. First, it would be helpful to look at the history of the walking groups. In 1986, the Bereavement Office at Victoria Hospice realized that bereaved people needed more choices to help them in the grieving process. One of the staff encouraged several volunteers to join in this new venture. Bereaved people were contacted, and the first walk was held in late 1986. To the present time three separate walks have been held each year. In 2003, Victoria Hospice celebrated walk number 50 by inviting all walkers from groups 1 to 49 to participate in a joint walk. Some seven hundred and twenty-four bereaved people participated. Bereavement, of course, takes all forms, so there is quite a diversity of people in each group.

The volunteers in this program tend to stay for a long time. One of the originals has taken part in forty-three of the fifty walks. She is one of Victoria Hospice’s treasures. In total, some forty-five volunteers have participated. This program needs volunteers who are willing to make long term commitments, and Victoria Hospice has always had a ready supply of talented volunteers. It is interesting to note that many of the volunteers are bereaved people, some of whom have been walking group members. My husband, John, was in Walking Group 4 in 1988, some years before I met him.

The Hospice Bereavement Office invites bereaved people to join in a nine-week walking group program with Hospice volunteers. The names of bereaved folks who show interest are provided to walking group coordinators. Volunteers then divide up the names given to them and contact the participants.

While there is no suggestion of pressure, the volunteers have become excellent salespeople. As one would imagine, some people need more encouragement to join than others. The volunteers choose two of their members as coordinators for a two year term. It was thought best to share the coordinator’s job to prevent any interruptions.

It is very important to note that only those people identified by the Bereavement Office may join this program. People from the community with no prior connection are welcome but must meet first with a counselor. When volunteers meet people who would benefit from participation in this activity, volunteers encourage them to contact the Bereavement Office first. It is important to remember that this program is not about exercise or socializing. It’s an opportunity for bereaved people to spend some time with volunteers and other bereaved people and to fulfill the Victoria Hospice mission which includes enhancing the quality of life of bereaved people. These people are easily hurt by those who do not understand that grief does not stop with the funeral or memorial service. Even if there are similarities in grieving, individual circumstances differ. Each bereaved person must be treated as special.

The intent of the Walking Group Program is to provide an opportunity for bereaved people to walk with others, in similar circumstances, in beautiful surroundings within our community. Hospice has provided a safe environment in which the volunteers are friends who will understand, who will listen, and who will not give advice.

How does the program work?

The walking group volunteer coordinators, assisted by volunteers, call the people whose names appear on the Bereavement Office list. Volunteers personally invite and encourage people to join the walking group. Bereaved folks need to feel that we want to help them. We let them know that we are not counselors but friends who wish to share our experience with them and to help them share theirs if they so wish.

All bereaved people need encouragement to take the first step of coming to the Saturday walk. Meeting a group of strangers is a bit frightening for some, and they tend to invoke all sorts of reasons for delaying. We try to convince them to come for the first walk, at least, taking one step at a time. Amazingly, it’s the exception, among those who do show up, who do not continue with the group. We make it clear that there will be adults of all ages and that we will walk for one hour, rain or shine. Umbrella parades are quite common in Victoria. Mind you, if we do get torrential rain, we walk in a mall. In the past 18 years, we have canceled only one Saturday walk.

On the first Saturday, we normally assemble in the University of Victoria campus and walk in its beautiful grounds. They are perfect for giving everyone a feeling of space and freedom when meeting for the first time. At first meeting, both walkers and volunteers are, understandably, a bit apprehensive since we are all strangers to one another. All walkers, including volunteers, wear name tags, so we get to know each other’s names quickly.

The Hospice Hug is the ice breaker; volunteers welcome each other and everyone who is participating. We make sure people are comfortable with this approach. We hand out free hug coupons and ask if we can share hugs with them. Some hesitate, the exception refuses, but we respect that choice and communicate the fact that it’s okay to decline. Surprisingly enough, those same people usually reach out for a hug the next time we meet.

Whenever possible, a volunteer walks with one or two of the bereaved people. As people walk, talk, and comment on points of interest, they start mixing and sharing. Volunteers do not necessarily stay with the same folks throughout the walk on any given day. Walkers need to feel that there are no set rules. Volunteers ensure that no one walks alone at any time. We try to provide opportunities for people to connect with one another and with the volunteers. After the first walk, we usually meet in a semiprivate area in a café at the university. During that time, co-coordinators give the necessary instructions for the following Saturday and provide a specific map for the next walk because we change the venue each week. We ensure that everyone has transportation and encourage car pooling. The reason for choosing a new area each week is to stimulate a variety of interests. You would be surprised at how this process helps to start conversations. The variety also provides an opportunity for folks to share happy memories of loved ones who enjoyed a particular location or view. It is amazing how many discover places they have never seen or heard of before. It is somewhat like being a tourist in your own home town.

As much as possible, co-coordinators find a location close to the home of one of the volunteers willing to invite the walkers for coffee afterwards. Circumstances permitting, volunteers take turns opening their homes. We try to keep this hospitality as simple as possible. During this break, which sometimes goes on for an hour or so, a congenial rapport is established between walkers and volunteers, just as in a family gathering.

While respecting the confidentiality of a conversation, a volunteer might sense that it would be best if a walker were encouraged to consult with a Hospice counselor. The Bereavement Office is so notified on the following Monday morning. Although infrequent, these situations can be delicate and must be handled in a most understanding and gentle manner. They should never be ignored.

The Walking Group Program lasts for nine consecutive weeks. For the first eight Saturdays, volunteers walk with the bereaved. On the ninth week, the walkers meet as a group on their own at a location of their choice; following the walk, they return to a co-coordinator’s home or to the home of another volunteer for refreshments. During this time, they decide who in their particular group will lead the next walk, and they also choose where to meet. With permission, we provide them with a list of names and phone numbers of fellow walkers. Depending on how soon the new group connects, the co-coordinator may decide to offer that list earlier in the nine week program.

Walkers are asked to complete a questionnaire prepared by the Bereavement Office. We encourage them to be honest and critical of any segment of the program that could be improved. This feedback is important both for volunteers and for the Bereavement Office. Volunteers review the questionnaires after the walkers leave. Volunteers also share their own observations. They also provide input to the co-coordinators for recommendations to be made to the Bereavement Office. As a result, program changes have been made over the years with the approval of the Bereavement Office.

The most significant improvement to the original plan is that bereaved persons are now invited to join this program as early as two or three months following the death of a loved one. Walkers have repeatedly told us, “I only wish I had known about this program earlier when I needed it most. As soon as the critical period of dealing with the funeral was over, friends and even some members of the family were not as understanding as they were earlier. I needed to talk and to get out of the house, but I did not know where to turn without imposing on others.”
The greatest fear of most walkers is that, once the nine week program ends, they will find themselves, once again, on their own. They are encouraged to continue walking as a group.

Before they leave, walkers are presented with a graduation certificate to let them know that they are ready to do more and to encourage them to take care of themselves. The best way for them to do so is to continue walking with their group. At times, as people move on with their lives, the group will become smaller. They are then encouraged to join with another group which may also consist of fewer members. Group one is still active, and now and then, we will meet them when we are walking with a new group. Our earlier groups are an inspiration to the new ones.

We give walkers the current Bereavement Self-Help Social Group Newsletter and invite them to join in other activities initiated by the group.

Volunteers commit themselves to 27 Saturdays each year. This is a major commitment for anybody and points out the need for other volunteers to share in the walks. There are two walks after the New Year and one in the fall. Victoria Hospice has a volunteer who has worked in this program for 15 years. She and her late husband volunteered with the first walk in 1986, and she continued after his death.

Learning to listen, to hear, and to respond to others and sharing our experiences in respectful and encouraging ways are essential to the growth of friendships that benefit those whom we are most committed to helping.